I’ll never forget the day we brought our first child home from the hospital. Elated and exhausted, my wife and I drove home from the hospital and set the car seat containing a new little human, our new little human, down on the floor of our apartment.
Of course we overjoyed with the new life that was ours to love, but also realized that as our daughter entered our house, everything about our lives had changed forever.
Yes, we had lost something. So we grieved that loss.
Parenthood, while it brings with it incomparable joys, requires sacrifice. Parents lose sleep, independence, and half of every snack they’d prefer to enjoy alone. Of course, moms and dads would tell you its worth it, but loving a child most definitely requires loss.
But we like to win, not lose, don’t we? The phrase “love wins” makes a great book title and hashtag, but I think it’s sometimes misleading. It might lead us to believe that we can be on the “love” team, which always beats all the bad guys, like in a superhero movie. We wave the “love wins” flag as we try to win the rat race, election race, playoff race, or whatever other race you’re running.
But love doesn’t work like that, at least not in the way we’d often like it to.
Love means losing sleep, losing alone time, and losing the last cookie.
In fact, the man who might have had the most to say about love lost his life because of it. Some example.
Yes, love might win, and it probably is worth it. But if you’re on the “love” team, get ready to lose, a lot and often, first.